LINDA J. SCHMID

I can’t believe it’s been so long since I’ve heard your voice or hugged you. I can’t belive how much I am still saddened and heartbroken for the loss of you and I can’t believe how much everything has changed and fallen apart without you. I am so very sad without you and k miss you so very much. I dot know if there is an afterlife though I like to believe that there is and I like to believe that one day we will see each other again. I miss you I love you and I’ve always been proud of you love you forever like you for always. 

Lori  

So many memories! My last memory which is also my saddest would be my mother passing away. Threee weeks prior to that she was given an option to continue her treatments or to accept the hospice care and pain relief that they could offer her. She was torn as what to do. After much convincing of her family she did decide to accept the pain management hospice. This was a bitter sweet decision for everyone, we would be loosin her and she would be leaving us, But this was the time for her to finally do something for her self. Over the following three weeks, I would watch her suffer until the morning of her death, all the while she wouldn't admit outloud that she was dying. Not wanting to worry any of us, her family. We were always her first and foremost concern. Very sad that one could suffer so much in the hopes I beleive that a miracle would happen and she would be spared. In the end, I am happy for her. She passed and her suffering has ended, her last days of life is a llife that no person should have to endure. Being paralyed and dependant but feeling every bit of pain. It really makes you wonder why, but I believe that we are not to know why, we will one day in our own passing understand why, the reasoning behind it all, and we will one day see my mom again. Happy, healthy and waiting for us. Today is not that day, we will not know when that day is until it is here. I anticipate that day, the day that I can hug my mother again. I do miss her, but believe me when I say that her last weeks, or even months was no life, not one you would wish on anyone. I regret that she couldnt pass sooner more then I regret that she didnt fight longer. I tell people when they say how sorry they are, believe me she is far better off not being here then she was when she was here. I obviouslly mean in them last couple of weeks. And I get some weird looks for that statement, but honestly, I would rather have a void in my heart then to see someone who was always so independant and free to suffer the way that she did. The moral of this post I suppose is to never take anyone or anything for granted, not for one moment, for you dont know what the next moment will hold for you or that person. We as people take way too much for granted. walking, eatting, standin sitting and so forth, These little things can be the most precious to someone who no longer has those abilities. I will never forget those last weeks and days and I will never forget how strong she was for all the years prior and that she was so for us.